“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” So goes the child’s defensive chant. But we all knows that isn’t true, because we’ve all been the victims of words. Today’s Thursday Thought, then, gives some excellent advice.
Tag Archive for child
35 Years of…Life (Personal Note)
Today is my 35th wedding anniversary. The years have been filled with “for better” and “for worse,” “sickness” and “health.” We’ve shared bringing new life into this world and seeing cherished loved ones move onto the next. We’ve had some fierce disagreements and did a lot of forgiving–of each other and of ourselves. We enjoyed adventures together and are now commiserating with the fact that, more and more often, our bodies laugh at us and ask, “You think you’re going to do WHAT?!” We’ve comforted each other over the estrangement of a friend or relative, then rejoiced with each other over reconciliation with them.
We’ve helped each other adapt to severe changes in our lives, cried mutual tears of joy at our son’s wedding, exchanged laughter and knowing looks when hearing a young person’s exact, well laid-out plans for the future, and had our hearts melt at a wagging tail, four paws, and big brown eyes that say, “I’d love you even if you beat me.” We’ve worked as a team through hardship, tragedy, heartbreak, and financial difficulties and come out closer as a result.
The “worse” and “sickness” we vowed to get through was not fun or easy, but we got through it because we had one other. Besides, we have focused on the “better” and the “health,” letting the other simply fade away. That’s called Living Life.
We don’t have another 35 years here on Earth. That’s okay, though, because we’ve had these 35 and, God willing, will have some more time together.
Happy anniversary, Frank, my love.
Interesting Fact re: Abuse, Children, and Mothers
According to Steven Stosny, PhD (founder of CompassionPower), research has revealed an interesting fact: Children who grow up watching their mothers being abused are not only damaged but even more damaged than if they’re abused themselves.
Seems like common sense. But maybe scientific proof will sink into the minds of abusers who love their children. And prompt more people who observe such abuse to report it for the sake of the child.
The Transgendered-Bathroom Issue
Today I read that 650,000 people have signed a pledge to boycott Target because of their policy to allow anyone to use whichever bathroom corresponding to the sex they identify with. Their reason they give for the boycott is to protect children from child molesters.
That made me re-think my understanding that transsexuals are not normally pedophiles. I did a little research. Here’s what I found.
Univ. of Michigan’s Prevention and Awareness Center: “There are no statistics that support the idea that…transgendered individuals are more likely to commit sexual assault or be sex offenders than heterosexuals. In fact, sex offenders are disproportionately likely to be heterosexual men.”
Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault: “Another common myth about LGBT people is that they are child molesters. This is also untrue; in fact a groundbreaking study of sexual-abuse offenders concluded that a heterosexual adult is more likely to be a threat to children than a homosexual adult is.”
Advocates for Youth: “Most perpetrators of child sexual abuse are relatives or close acquaintances of the youth they target. ‘Stranger Danger’ — the notion that youth are at highest risk of sexual abuse from strangers — is a widely-accepted myth that continues to drive public policy around this issue.”
(Note: I tried to cite neutral sources who have a reputation for being non-biased and statistically accurate in their studies. I found many others, who had agendas to promote, which I don’t cite here.)
What I’m trying to say is, each of us has the right to follow our moral or religious codes, some of which say that a transsexual is “unnatural” or “sinful,” or whatever. If that case, we should own those beliefs and fight our battle on those grounds rather than on false assertions that we’re simply trying to protect our children.
On a side note, as a person with a disability, I’ve used unisex/handicap bathrooms, all my life and am quite comfortable with them.
Controlling Guns, Respecting Rights
I’m tired of the gun-control debate! This morning’s streaming news (scrolling across the bottom of the TV screen during the news broadcast) had nine headlines not related to sports, weather, or medical. SEVEN of those were about people being shot. 1) A man was shot in Salinas. 2) People were shot on Interstate 80 in San Pablo. 3) A 73-year-old man shot his wife. 4) Two masked men used their guns in a robbery in Pacifica. 5) A boy on a bike was shot in Salinas. 6) A man was shot while sitting in his car with his nine-year-old child in East Oakland. 7) Four masked men shot off a gun during a home invasion/robbery in San Mateo.
These incidents all happened within a day in a fairly small area, an area not known for any more violence than any other.
I’m not arguing here for gun control that would take away anyone’s rights…well, the rights of any gun-trained/respecting, sane, level-headed, law-abiding, cool-tempered, life-respecting individuals. If anyone can come up with a workable plan to protect their rights and the rights of gun-victims without gun owners giving up a small amount of what they feel the Fourth Amendment entitles them to, for the greater good, I’d love to see it enacted right away.
Yes, I’m tired of the gun-control debate. It’s gone on far too long. It’s past time for action instead of talk.
Can You be Sued for Helping?
You’re at the scene of an accident and are a medical professional, or a non-medical person, or a shopper seeing a child in a closed-up car in the parking lot. If you help, can you be arrested or sued for coming to the aid of a trapped or bleeding victim or for smashing in a window to save a child? In some states, yes.
Some (not enough) states have “Good Samaritan Laws” which protect you. Does your state have such a law? Go to Safe Kids Worldwide and find out.
If your state isn’t listed, contact your governmental representatives and ask why not.
Whether a child is left on purpose or by a rushed, otherwise-good parent, there is no reason that 38 kids die each year after being left in a hot car. Our precious babies need everyone to look after their safety.
The Royalty of Children
As we greet the new royal child, let’s think about how we can protect ALL the children of the world. This little potential future queen—as well as our two American princesses—will never face hunger, homelessness, exploitation, or death by diseases that are virtually unknown in most of the world. They won’t have to work long hours in the field before even their tenth birthday to help support their families. For a certainty, they will have the opportunity for a first-rate education and be able to pass on their good fortune to their own children.
Not all babies are born into that world. Many, many face abject poverty, malnutrition, and illiteracy. Those who do survive to have families of their own will pass those conditions on to their children as their only possible legacy.
Those of us who are in a position to do something about the futures of these children must actually do something. If we have the means, we can donate funds to organizations, here and abroad, that fight poverty, feed the hungry, and educate all the children. We can volunteer as baby-rockers in at-risk hospital nurseries; aides for teachers of limited-English-speaking classes; tutors for underachieving students or those locked away at Juvenile Hall. We can visit a museum, art gallery, zoo, tech museum, or the like, taking with us a child of parents struggling to find jobs or working several jobs to meet the bills. We can invite a latch-key child to help make a double batch of cookies or casserole, and send half of it home with the young cook to show off to the family. We can do…a million little things that will make a difference in a young life, things that will make a lasting impression, build his or her self-esteem, teach a concept or a skill, and, therefore, provide a step toward a better life than the child might have had.
After all, isn’t each child a royal child?
Last-Minute Resolution to Consider
This is the last day to make our New Year’s resolutions. May as well forget the traditional weight-loss one, since we fail before February anyway. We could resolve to quit smoking or swearing, be more organized or thrifty…. Then, again, we could step out from our own little world into the larger one. We can make this the year to help protect and nurture a child. Yes, we can send money to support a child on another continent, but why not make it more personal? One way is to volunteer at a local hospital as a person who cuddles at-risk infants, giving them the warm contact that will save their lives. Another is to become a Foster Grandparent, Big Brother/Sister, or Child Advocate. Also, we must do something when we see that timid first-grader being bullied by other kids. Closer to home, we can spend more time with our own children or grandchildren, playing games, taking walks, and providing times for talk to happen. Focusing on children is a resolution that makes a brighter year for everybody.
Happy New Year. May 2015 be a year of peace in the world and in your lives!
Bullies Provide a Service
Bullies are a good thing. That’s what someone recently argued to me. His reasoning was that he had taught his daughter to stand up to bullies, as should all parents, to get kids used to adult life in the workplace. No matter where you work, he maintained, there will be bullies, and you need to be ready for them. He thinks that schools shouldn’t be wasting their time punishing bullies or trying to stop them because school-aged bullies provide a service.
I thought this was an interesting take on the problem. However, I can’t help but think that if young bullies are stopped now, they’ll never be a problem in the workplace once they grow up. And more children will have a happier childhood.
What do you think?
99 with a Loving Heart
Here’s a woman who plans to use her abilities for as long as she’s able. She’s 99 years old and plans to make a dress each and every day for a child. See the video at http://www.wimp.com/dressneed.
[Thanks to Linda Younts for sending me this.]