Tag Archive for marriage

For a Healthy Marriage

“AFTER the kids are grown and we retire, THEN we’ll have time for us!” Too many couples put their relationship last.  Wouldn’t it be better if our kids grew up with a different outlook, that Marriage, as the heart of Family, is important enough to nourish?  We can do this in our own homes and among friends.  Find out about Marriage Encounter weekends and couples’ group activities. Do a date-night exchange, taking turns watching the kids while one couple goes out on a date—or just goes back home alone for a few hours.  Give that extra set of tickets to friends who need a night out.  Or take their kids with yours to the Children’s Discovery Museum and turn over your pool or hot tub to the parents for an afternoon.  All these things are inexpensive or free to you but priceless to your friends.  Your reward comes when they return the favor, and the community benefits from healthier marriages, both yours and your children’s!

35 Years of…Life (Personal Note)

Today is my 35th wedding anniversary. The years  have been filled with “for better” and “for worse,” “sickness” and “health.” We’ve shared bringing new life into this world and seeing cherished loved ones move onto the next. We’ve had some fierce disagreements and did a lot of forgiving–of each other and of ourselves. We enjoyed adventures together and are now  commiserating with the fact that, more and more often, our  bodies laugh at us and ask, “You think you’re going to do WHAT?!”  We’ve comforted each other over the  estrangement of a friend or relative, then rejoiced with each other over reconciliation with them.

We’ve helped each other adapt to severe changes in our lives, cried mutual tears of joy at our son’s wedding, exchanged laughter and knowing looks when hearing a young person’s exact, well laid-out plans for the future, and had our hearts melt at a wagging tail, four paws, and big brown eyes that say, “I’d love you even if you beat me.”  We’ve worked as a team through hardship, tragedy, heartbreak, and financial difficulties and come out closer as a result.

The “worse” and “sickness” we vowed  to get through was not fun or easy, but we got through it because we had one other. Besides,  we have  focused on the “better” and the “health,” letting the other simply fade away. That’s called Living Life.

We don’t have another 35  years here on Earth. That’s okay, though, because we’ve had these 35 and, God willing, will have some more time together.

Happy anniversary, Frank, my love.

 

 

Money, Marriage, and Family

Today’s Thursday Thought considers family, marriage, and the annual cost of social programs:

“ACF spends $46 billion per year operating 65 different social programs. If one goes down the list of these programs… the need for each is either created or exacerbated by the breakup of families and marriages.”  —  Wade Horn, Assistant Secretary, Administration for Children and Families (ACF/HHS)
Maybe we need to work harder on protecting our families and marriages….

 

 

Malia Obama’s Hand in Marriage

How much would President Obama’s daughter Malia fetch in a marriage contract?  Hey, she’s 16, practically an old maid.

A Kenyan lawyer has offered her dad a tidy sum:  50 cows, 70 sheep, and 30 goats to gain Malia as his bride.

This isn’t a hasty decision on the part of Felix Kiprono, who has been interested in her since she was 10 years old, at which time he decided to be faithful to her and wait for her.  Consequently, he hasn’t dated in all that time.

It’s coming out now because Kiprono intends to put his proposal before President Obama when he visits Kenya this July.  He is writing a letter to ask that Malia come with the President on his Kenyan trip.

He wants to live the simple life with his bride, teaching her how to milk a cow and cook ugali (maize porridge) and other traditional Kenyan dishes.

Why do I pass on this story to you?  Because I thought I’d break up your week with a deeply romantic, heart-felt story.  That’s the kind of thing I do for my faithful readers.

 

 

How to Spend that Upcoming Extra Hour

Let’s plan ahead for Sunday, when we turn our clocks back an hour.  What will we do with the extra hour we’ve gained?  Why not share it with someone who doesn’t necessarily consider time a friend, like that neighbor or acquaintance who is too ill or shy to get out much.  We can spend time feeding hungry families at a kitchen, gathering food for local food pantries that serve them, visiting veterans at the VA, bringing a picnic lunch and conversation to Aunt Sally at the nursing home.  Or give that extra hour exclusively to our children, playing, reading, or just being together.  Or nurture our marriage with an uninterrupted hour together, being present to each other. Through that one hour, we won’t let stress, overwork, or other pressures interfere with our relationships. In short, rather than waste that morsel of extra time, we can use it to live life more fully, sharing our time and selves with others.

 

 

Happiness Up to the Wife

Apparently, “happy wife, happy life” is true.  Granted, the study looked at people age 50 or older, but I’d bet that it extends into younger marriages–and even maybe into how we treat each other in other relationships.

There are several reasons for this happiness factor (as well as the reverse: miserable wife, miserable life). They include the differing ways men and women are raised, societal roles, and the fact (surprise!) that men don’t communicate their feelings and women do (what a revelation!).  The cure for this disparity is better communication–like that’s gonna happen in most man/woman relationships….

For details of this study, read the Huffington Post article “Study Finds that ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life‘ is Pretty Dead On.

 

 

Gay Marriage: Leviticus Loses

An upset to the Christian world.  That’s what the Supreme Court delivered today with its decisions on DOMA and Prop. 8.  Lucky for the Supremes, they just had to decide on Constitutionality.  The religious debate is a quagmire, sucking some into Hell, others into righteousness, and divorce lawyers into more money as homosexual couples embrace divorce.

The problem comes between the Old Testament and the New.  Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13. clearly and vehemently state that homosexuality (therefore gay marriage) is BAD, BAD, BAD.  In the New Testament, Paul is obviously no fan of it, either.  But Jesus–the New Law–had His chance and blew it.  He kept preaching love for one another (no, not in that way)–His main message was love.  When cornered, yes, he referred to Adam and Eve, when answering a question about divorce in Matt. 19.  And He touched on adultery, fornication, and sexual immorality (without details).  I know that He admitted that He didn’t have time to teach people everything they needed to know (enter the Holy Spirit for that job).  I just wish He had been clearer and more definite about homosexuality/gay marriage so that we didn’t have to depend on our own interpretations of passages to prove whatever side we’re on.