I was fascinated by this map of common languages spoken in the U.S. We really ARE a diverse country! And each language and person speaking it adds to the richness of our American culture.
Tag Archive for English
Speak English, Darn It!
SPEAK ENGLISH, DARN IT! My blood boils as I wait to be seated at a restaurant, two people near me talking in another language. They’re in America, so they should speak English! But why? Do I think they’re talking about me? Or planning to rob the place? Do I really want (or need) to know what they’re saying? If they were speaking English, it would be rude of me to eavesdrop. I’m not bothered by people speaking in sign language or teens speaking their brand of “English” (although I could do without some of those words). I, like most people, pepper my everyday language with borrowings from Spanish, German, Yiddish, Italian. And I know that if I go to England, people there will complain that I don’t really speak English at all! Next time, then, I resolve to turn boiling blood into thankfulness for living in a country made up of a rich tapestry of cultures, all of which add words to that ever-evolving banquet of language we call “English.”
It Makes Me Cringe Bigly
I have to say it. I’ve held off, tried to be open-minded and tolerant. But now that others are picking it up from President Trump, I can’t hold off any longer. Here it is:
NOT ALL ADJECTIVES WERE MEANT TO BE MADE INTO ADVERBS!
“Bigly” makes me cringe.
Please, please, dear readers–do NOT perpetuate that abomination of a non-word. For my sake. For the sake of the English-speaking world!
Speak English, Darn It!
[The other day I was waiting for a table at my local cafe when I overheard two things: a couple speaking in a foreign language, and a trio of angry people, complaining about the couple’s audacity at not speaking English. That led me to write the following thoughts.]
* * * * *
My blood boils as I wait to be seated at a restaurant, two people near me talking in another language. They’re in America, so they should speak English!
But why? Do I think they’re talking about me? Or planning to rob the place? Do I really want (or need) to know what they’re saying? If they were speaking English, it would be rude of me to eavesdrop. I’m not bothered by people speaking in sign language or teens speaking their brand of “English” (although I could do without some of those words). I, like most people, pepper my everyday language with borrowings from Spanish, German, Yiddish, Italian. And I know that if I go to England, people there will complain that I don’t really speak English at all!
Next time, then, I resolve to turn boiling blood into thankfulness for living in a country made up of a rich tapestry of cultures, all of which add words to that ever-evolving banquet of language we call “English.”
The Royalty of Children
As we greet the new royal child, let’s think about how we can protect ALL the children of the world. This little potential future queen—as well as our two American princesses—will never face hunger, homelessness, exploitation, or death by diseases that are virtually unknown in most of the world. They won’t have to work long hours in the field before even their tenth birthday to help support their families. For a certainty, they will have the opportunity for a first-rate education and be able to pass on their good fortune to their own children.
Not all babies are born into that world. Many, many face abject poverty, malnutrition, and illiteracy. Those who do survive to have families of their own will pass those conditions on to their children as their only possible legacy.
Those of us who are in a position to do something about the futures of these children must actually do something. If we have the means, we can donate funds to organizations, here and abroad, that fight poverty, feed the hungry, and educate all the children. We can volunteer as baby-rockers in at-risk hospital nurseries; aides for teachers of limited-English-speaking classes; tutors for underachieving students or those locked away at Juvenile Hall. We can visit a museum, art gallery, zoo, tech museum, or the like, taking with us a child of parents struggling to find jobs or working several jobs to meet the bills. We can invite a latch-key child to help make a double batch of cookies or casserole, and send half of it home with the young cook to show off to the family. We can do…a million little things that will make a difference in a young life, things that will make a lasting impression, build his or her self-esteem, teach a concept or a skill, and, therefore, provide a step toward a better life than the child might have had.
After all, isn’t each child a royal child?
Burger Boy
All of us come in daily contact with the “little guys,” a low-paid workers among a sea of low-paid workers. I’d like to honor those people today, on International Worker’s Day. Let me introduce you to one of these people. Let’s call him Sonny.
I wish they wouldn’t treat me like that. I know I’m just a kid. And my English ain’t too good. But I try. I don’t like how people look at me, like I ain’t worth much. I don’t wanna be here. Nobody else will hire a kid who don’t know much yet. I see my parents struggle. I can’t ask them to give me no money for fun or school or nothin’ and I see how sometimes they don’t eat unless I bring some burgers home that woulda gone into the garbage anyways. They say don’t take no handouts unless you at death’s door. We been there twice I remember. I’m gonna finish school. Go to college. Get a real job. Make it so they don’t have to worry no more. Then, when I go to Hamburger House, I’ll tip the guy and give him a high-five, ‘cuz I know why he’s there.
Next time you meet a “Sonny,” honor the work he does for you and the fellow human being that he is.
European Standard Language is Coming!
[This one comes from Linda Younts, who knows how much I love word-play. Enjoy.]
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”.. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vordskontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi blriten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
St. WHO’s Day?
Be careful what you wish today. Many people blithely say “Happy St. Paddy’s Day,” not realizing that those can be fighting words. In Britain, “paddy” is a slang term—a derogatory one—for a person of Irish birth or descent. If an Englishman wants to cut down a person, he’ll call him a “Paddy.” Some of that usage ended up in America, too. Also, some people in America either lived themselves or had relatives who lived through English mal-treatment in Ireland and, therefore, resent the term “Paddy.”
True, “Paddy” in the late 1900s was a pet form of the Irish name “Padraig” (not “Patrick”). In that spirit, many Irish call themselves by that nickname. But it’s like nicknames for Blacks, Hispanics, and other groups: you can call each other that, but NOT if you’re an outsider.
You don’t know an Irish person’s feelings about the name, and you don’t want to perpetuate a term that some people find offensive. PLUS, the day IS supposedly honoring a saint. So I invite everyone to do what I’m doing, wishing one and all a
HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY!
Leave My &%#@! Books Alone!
Okay, so they’re not actually MY books. But they’re mine to enjoy for three weeks when I borrow them from the library. There I am, deep into the story, and YOU INTERRUPT ME! You do that because you took a red and/or blue pencil and circled or underlined words you feel are misspelled or misused. The main character is cleverly explaining to the evil-doer how he got himself caught…and there you are, with your colored pencil. I’m distracted. The character’s dialog-flow is lost. And I am NOT happy.
Besides, you’re often wrong. You don’t seem to know that there are variations on spellings, especially between American and British English. You need to brush up on your punctuation and grammar rules,too. Most of all, you need to understand that an “illegal” word or phrase may be used as a stylistic tool.
The point is, you’re not an editor. If you were, you’d be reading these books before they were published. When you’ve spent as many years as I have as a professional editor, then we’ll talk. Until then, keep your *&%#@!!! colored pencils to yourself!
