Who’d think that a hand-held device could become a verb? Yes, the iPod has begun to show action. I heard perfectly intelligent people on the TV show Press Here discuss companies that are starting to iPodify! Now, I’m all for language growth–it enriches us all. But I prefer borrowings from other languages, like the French chic, Irish hooligan, Italian fresco, Yiddish klutz, and, of course, the Spanish taco. I’m not sure I like that gizmo I can’t escape from wheedling its way into my language, forcing me to listen to people iPodify, watch neighbors iPodify, seeing my dog step into something after someone carelessly iPodifies…my Heavens! being forced at gunpoint to iPodfy or perish…and I don’t even know how! No, I’m not ready for this.
Tag Archive for language
It’s Vital to Us as Americans
I know. You’re already tired of IMPEACHMENT, and the trial is just starting. Many of us are tempted to fast-forward to the end, when the final decision is made. That’s not a good idea.
We, the people, need to listen to the actual facts and tune out political posturing, half-truths, and outright lies. We need to analyze what we hear (and speakers’ telling body language), especially the questions coming directly from Senators later in the process, to determine if the Senators (both sides) are being true to their solemn oath to be fair and impartial. We need to scan the Senate floor, seeing if they’re being attentive or just napping or finding a way around the no-electronics rules. In short, we need to WATCH.
Why? Because the process reflects on us as a democracy. It shows the world if we can be trusted to practice what we preach. When it’s over, no matter what decision is made, it affects our future. If the people in power (President, Senators, others) have successfully manipulated the system, there’s no safeguard against their enacting self-serving laws, laws that make more Americans vulnerable and enrich the powerful on the backs of the poor and middle class. And our nation’s reputation and influence in the world–already severely damaged–sinks lower and lower.
But if they go 12 hours at a stretch….! Set your VCR. Watch the proceedings in bits, catching up to current time, then delete and reset for recording starting at that point. No, I don’t expect you to watch every second. But watch the majority of it. Be informed. Be critical. Be a concerned American.
And remember that an important election is coming up. If you think the Senators failed in their duty, don’t fail in yours. Make it right through your vote.
What Language is That?
I was fascinated by this map of common languages spoken in the U.S. We really ARE a diverse country! And each language and person speaking it adds to the richness of our American culture.
Screen Time–Report
People (especially parents and their kids) go back and forth on how much screen time (including phones) is healthy for kids. The National Institute of Health followed 11,000 subjects age 9/10 into adulthood. It was a landmark study, costing $300 million and spanning many years. Here is some of what they reported:
When the child has spent 7 or more hours a day of screen time, their cerebral cortex, which is the area of the brain that processes sensory information, shows premature thinning. With 2 or more hours a day they were less successful on thinking and language tests. In other words, it seems that screen time is changing our children’s brains.
Granted, this is only a preliminary study. They’re doing more research to determine a solid cause/effect relationship, if there is one, as data seems to indicate right now. Even so, I think it makes sense for us to be aware of it and be on the safe side by following guidelines set by the American Academy of Pediatrics. The Academy suggests no screen time at all for 18 – 24 months. Then, for age 2 – 5, no more than an hour a day, but of high quality programming that you watch with your child. Sounds like a reasonable precaution to me.
Fun Memory for Older People
I don’t understand half of what teenagers say today. On the other hand, each generation has its own language, and this, too, shall pass. Here’s a fun look back of when some of us were young. [Thanks to Jim Knudsen for sending this to me.]
“I hope you are Hunky Dory …,” by Richard Lederer
About a month ago, I illuminated some old expressions that have become obsolete because of the inexorable march of technology. These phrases included “Don’t touch that dial,” “Carbon copy,” “You sound like a broken record” and “Hung out to dry.” A bevy of readers have asked me to shine light on more faded words and expressions, and I am happy to oblige:
Back in the olden days we had a lot of moxie. We’d put on our best bib and tucker and straighten up and fly right. Hubba-hubba! We’d cut a rug in some juke joint and then go smooching and spooning and billing and cooing and pitching woo in hot rods and jalopies in some lovers’ lane.
Heavens to Betsy! Gee whillikers! Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat! Holy moley! We were in like Flynn and living the life of Riley, and even a regular guy couldn’t accuse us of being a knucklehead, a nincompoop or a pill. Not for all the tea in China !
Back in the olden days, life used to be swell, but when’s the last time anything was swell? Swell has gone the way of beehives, pageboys and the D.A.; of spats, knickers, fedoras, poodle skirts, saddle shoes and pedal pushers. Oh, my aching back. Kilroy was here, but he isn’t anymore.
Like Washington Irving’s Rip Van Winkle and Kurt Vonnegut’s Billy Pilgrim, we have become unstuck in time. We wake up from what surely has been just a short nap, and before we can say, “I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!” or “This is a fine kettle of fish!” we discover that the words we grew up with, the words that seemed omnipresent as oxygen, have vanished with scarcely a notice from our tongues and our pens and our keyboards.
Poof, poof, poof go the words of our youth, the words we’ve left behind. We blink, and they’re gone, evanesced from the landscape and wordscape of our perception, like Mickey Mouse wristwatches, hula hoops, skate keys, candy cigarettes, little wax bottles of colored sugar water and an organ grinder’s monkey.
Where have all those phrases gone? Long time passing. Where have all those phrases gone? Long time ago: Pshaw. The milkman did it. Think about the starving Armenians. Bigger than a bread box. Banned in Boston . The very idea! It’s your nickel. Don’t forget to pull the chain. Knee high to a grasshopper. Turn-of-the-century. Iron curtain. Domino theory. Fail safe. Civil defense. Fiddlesticks! You look like the wreck of the Hesperus. Cooties. Going like sixty. I’ll see you in the funny papers. Don’t take any wooden nickels. Heavens to Murgatroyd! And awa-a-ay we go!
Oh, my stars and garters! It turns out there are more of these lost words and expressions than Carter had liver pills. This can be disturbing stuff, this winking out of the words of our youth, these words that lodge in our heart’s deep core. But just as one never steps into the same river twice, one cannot step into the same language twice. Even as one enters, words are swept downstream into the past, forever making a different river.
We of a certain age have been blessed to live in changeful times. For a child each new word is like a shiny toy, a toy that has no age. We at the other end of the chronological arc have the advantage of remembering there are words that once did not exist and there were words that once strutted their hour upon the earthly stage and now are heard no more, except in our collective memory. It’s one of the greatest advantages of aging. We can have archaic and eat it, too.
See ‘ya later, alligator!
European Standard Language is Coming!
[This one comes from Linda Younts, who knows how much I love word-play. Enjoy.]
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”.. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vordskontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi blriten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
In a Pickle?
The language gremlins who live with me took over again today, meaning you get to find out the origin of the phrase “in a pickle.” Good old Willie (Shakespeare) noticed that the pickles swimming and knocking against each other inside their container seemed mixed up and confused. (He’d probably sniffed too much vinegar.) Thus, to have one character ask another about the difficult situation he was in, he had him utter the question, “How camest thou in this pickle?”
Now, how are you going to work this bit of trivia into your next conversation? Ah…that puts you in a pickle!
Obama’s Biggest Crime
What has our President done to us! It’s a crime! It may seem insignificant to many people, but it’s an affront to this language-loving person’s ears. It began with Candidate Obama and has permeated his Presidency, affecting politicians, commentators, and persons on the street. It invades our parties and pastors’ sermons, our instructors and our excuse-makers. That is, beginning sentences with the word “look.”
If you haven’t noticed, now you will. Wait until Leno does it, or your City Council member, or your dad or friend, or even Obama himself. Now that you’re aware, it may very well make you want to stick chewing gum in your ears. When someone asks why Bazooka bubbles are covering your lobes, just say, “Look, I don’t want to hear it anymore!”