Tag Archive for German

European Standard Language is Coming!

[This one comes from Linda Younts, who knows how much I love word-play.  Enjoy.]

The  European  Commission has just announced an agreement  whereby English will be the  official language of the  European Union rather than German, which was  the other  possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room  for  improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become  known as “Euro-English”.

In the  first year, “s” will  replace the soft “c”.. Sertainly,  this will make the sivil servants jump  with joy. The hard  “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should  klear up  konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less  letter.

There  will be growing  publik enthusiasm in  the  sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with  “f”.  This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the  3rd year,  publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted  to  reach the stage where more komplikated changes are   possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of  double  letters which have always ben a deterent to  akurate  speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl  mes of the  silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it  should go  away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be  reseptiv to steps such  as replasing “th” with “z” and “w”  with “v”.

During ze fifz  yer, ze unesesary “o” kan  be dropd from  vordskontaining “ou”  and after ziz fifz  yer, ve vil hav a reil  sensi blriten  styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun  vil  find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united  urop vil finali  kum tru.

Und  efter ze fifz  yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to  oza  pepl.

 

 

Mike Nicols on the American Dream

Today’s Thursday Thought comes from the multi-talented German immigrant who passed away yesterday, Mike Nicols.  His quote offers an interesting view of what Americans hope for and dream of:

“There’s nothing in the American dream about character.  It’s a serious flaw.”