Small Things Count

It’s amazing: some families of murdered people learn to forgive the killer, refusing to let hatred breed more hatred.  Their response to cold tragedy reminds us that forgiveness is the only way to reach the elusive “closure” that everybody talks about.  Execution and life-imprisonment punish but are forms of vengeance.  Anyone who has ever kept a grudge knows that “getting even” doesn’t make us feel a lot better. In fact, it empowers the person receiving our retribution, because of the time and energy we waste on thinking about them and because now we, too, have done something negative.  Besides, their terrible act and our reaction will haunt us all forever as we recall how he they their comeuppance and how we “got even.”  It’s a far cry from closure, which, by definition, brings an end, a conclusion to a situation.  It’s even farther from what people expect closure to bring them, which is peace. Forgiveness closes off the gut-churning blame process and doesn’t involve a soul-shattering battle of negatives.  Most importantly, it brings peace.  Forgiveness–what a concept.

(This isn’t me. Or you. But it could be in the future. Or someone we love. These could very well be the thoughts and feelings of someone you know or in your neighborhood. It’s a silent plea that, while we can, we should respond to. Think about this imaginary woman.)

I feel so guilty.  I’ve always swept up my garden debris within an hour after the trash truck has come by, and I’ve taken such pride in keeping my sidewalk clear of all the stuff that blows in from all over.  Now, though, my husband’s in the hospital and my arthritis is too bad to let me drive to go see him, let alone keep up the house, inside or out.  We don’t have any family close by who can help.  We’ve lived here forty years. People know how neat and clean we are. You’d think a neighbor would notice the mess and come by to check on us.  I’m so alone, but I can’t call and impose on them.  I’d be a burden.  That would make me feel worse.  But if somebody just noticed, if they’d just call or drop by—I wouldn’t mind.  Sure, it would be nice if they’d offer to drive me to see my husband or maybe sweep up out front—but even a little company would help a lot.  I’m just so very lonely and overwhelmed.  If only somebody would notice. . . .

I thought I’d start the week with a cartoon that’s sort of funny but definitely how we feel while waiting for that horrible “hold” music when we call a company.

What happens when you call a company and are “invited” to wait on-hold because your call is important to them? This cartoon tells the real story about their intentions.

Use the most earth-friendly cleaning products available.   The Environmental Working Group has rated major brands and products according to how environmentally safe they are and given them grades. Before you buy any products, find out which ones have earned an A or B and use those. Go to  Www.ewg.org/guides/categories/2-AllPurpose, then use only those earning an A or B rating.   

[For more easy, money-saving, Eco-friendly tips, download a FREE copy of Green Riches: Help the Earth & Your Budget. Go to https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/7000, choose a format, and download to your computer or e-book device. For a description of the book go to My Free Books).

Tomorrow (June 19, 2021) will be the first official Federal Juneteenth. Some states have established it as such, but never, until now, our Federal Government. It’s a holiday that has been celebrated by a large portion of Americans for years but was made official by Congress just in time to recognize it this year, 2021.  It has existed among African-Americans since 1865 and reflects the Emancipation Proclamation, which Lincoln had signed two years before but which didn’t reach throughout the country until African-Americans learned about it in Texas in 1865.  It has also been referred to as Freedom Day, Jubilee Day, Liberation Day, and Emancipation Day, which sums up its significance.  It’s a time for Americans with roots in Africa to be joyful about not only their freedom but also their culture and achievements.  It’s a time, too, for the rest of us to celebrate the end of a disgraceful, dehumanizing period in our nation’s history and to vow to work harder toward eliminating the social, economic, and political vestiges of that period that still exist as a shadow over our country today.

I, like many people, are drawn to the wisdom of Snoopy. In today’s Thursday Thought quote, Snoopy reminds us of what a truly good day is and how we can achieve it. (Thank you, Charles Schultz.)

Here’s some help for you if you’re wracking your brain to figure out the perfect Father’s Day gift for your older dad who doesn’t really want a lot more “stuff.”

Most dads, especially older ones, have enough ties and golf balls to last out the century.  This year, try giving your dad a Father’s Day gift that makes a real difference to him.  Here are some suggestions which he’ll appreciate even more because they come from your heart.

1. Take him on a day trip, complete with picnic lunch and time to spend together.  A non-driving dad will really enjoy this.  If he still drives, share the driving—it’s a non-threatening way for you to be sure he can still drive safely.
2. Spend a day going through Dad’s house with him, looking for burned-out lights, loose steps or railings, frayed cords, broken smoke-detectors, slippery, rugs and other hazards and fix them together.  Suggest making the bathroom—the most dangerous room in any house—safer by installing a grab-bar and rubber mat in the tub/shower.
3. If his laundry is in the basement, he takes chances each time he carries laundry and supplies down those steps and clean laundry back up.  Is there a space on the main floor where a washer/dryer could go—maybe a set of stackables?  If you have siblings, share the cost of new machines or re-plumbing the old ones in a safer location.
4. Be his private chef.  If he lives alone he may just grab some fast food or unhealthy frozen dinners or not eat at all.  Bad nutrition leads to ill health and weaknesses that endanger him.  Cook a variety of single-serving meals for him and package them in a way that lets him pop them into the oven or microwave.  Use a Sharpie to write cooking directions on the covering.

This Father’s Day, give the gift of securing your dad’s safety and well-being.  A big hug won’t hurt, either.

We’ve heard a lot about “gaslighting” — people using it to attack us about our political, personal, or social beliefs, for example. You may have had someone use one or more of these 6 Gaslighting Phrases People Say to Manipulate you to make you question yourself, your ideas or feelings, even reality itself. Read this start to that Huffpost article, then go to 6 Gaslighting Phrases People Say to Manipulate you to read the rest to learn how to combat such an attack on you.

“Gaslighting, a manipulation tactic often wielded by emotional abusers, gradually makes you question your own judgment, feelings, memories and reality. Because of its insidious nature, it can be hard for victims to recognize it as it’s happening.

“Abusers use gaslighting as a way to gain and maintain power and control in the relationship. They break down your confidence over time by making you think your interpretation of events is incorrect. The more you second-guess yourself, the more you start to believe their version must be the accurate one.

[Cont. Here]

I couldn’t resist passing this on to you. I’d like to see this posted on every trash barrel in every park, in every school…everywhere!

We handle them, breath on them, set them on surfaces that are almost definitely not clean. Our phones pick up germs and bacteria, along with dirt and grime. Do we really want to pick those up and put them close to our face? Would be a good idea to clean them first. But how do we do that without harming them?

Credo has published an online article called How to Safely Sanitize Your Phone and Keep it Germ-Free. Read it and learn what to do, including cleaning agents and proper handling.

If you think your phone is clean enough already, think about what Credo points out in their article: “Studies show that our phones carry around 17,000 bacteria per square inch — 10 times more bacteria than a toilet seat — and we touch our phones roughly 2,617 times a day. For heavy phone users, that number jumps to 5,427 times.”