Tag Archive for experience

A Bully-Pulpit Invitation

Here’s a bully-pulpit for you.  There’s so much in the news about kids being bullied and the damage it does to them not just at the time but throughout their lives.  We never forget those bad experiences when others teased and belittled us, made us feel inadequate, unloved, unwanted, a laughing-stock, emotionally drained, physically ill, terrorized, totally alone in the world.

Use this forum to share an experience you had in which a bully made you feel this way and how it affected your life. Put your story in Comments and I’ll pass it on in a future blog entry.

I’ll start.  I was in 7th grade, shy and plump and walking on crutches and leg braces.  When I’d walk by a certain group of boys, they’d talk in a foreign language, look at me, imitate the way I walked, make hand gestures pointing out my roundish figure.  They even waited until I walked by the stairwell and dropped spit on me from above.  I cried a lot.  I avoided that stairwell whenever possible.  I was afraid to tell anyone or ask others to walk with me.  I was miserable and alone.  Later, that was the language I chose to learn for my college language requirement, and it took several friends from that ethnic group to get me over my fear and, yes, loathing of that group.  As an adult, I still get a twinge of discomfort when I think of those junior-high days, but I’m tuned into bullying and ready to step in whenever I see it.

Now it’s your turn….Write your experience in “Comments.”

Were You Bullied?

Here’s a bully-pulpit for you.  There’s so much in the news about kids being bullied and the damage it does to them not just at the time but throughout their lives.  We never forget those bad experiences when others teased and belittled us, made us feel inadequate, unloved, unwanted, a laughing-stock, emotionally drained, physically ill, terrorized, totally alone in the world.

Use this forum to share an experience you had in which a bully made you feel this way and how it affected your life.

I’ll start.  I was in 7th grade, shy and plump and walking on crutches and leg braces.  When I’d walk by a certain group of boys, they’d talk in a foreign language, look at me, imitate the way I walked, make hand gestures pointing out my roundish figure.  They even waited until I walked by the stairwell and dropped spit on me from above.  I cried a lot.  I avoided that stairwell whenever possible.  I was afraid to tell anyone or ask others to walk with me.  I was miserable and alone.  Later, that was the language I chose to learn for my college language requirement, and it took several friends from that ethnic group to get me over my fear and, yes, loathing, of that group.  As an adult, I still get a twinge of discomfort when I think of those junior-high days, but I’m tuned into bullying and ready to step in whenever I see it.

Now it’s your turn….Write your experience here.

Personal: The Human Touch

Thank you for your patience while I took some time off from my blog (as well as from many other things).  It has been a hard space in my life, laying to rest my beloved husband of 35+ years.  Being without him will continue to be hard.

But the experience reminded me of the importance of the human touch.  His fingers grazing mine when he needed something from the bedside table he couldn’t reach.  His smile as I rubbed his feet while we talked, with me doing most of the talking.  Mutual reassurance at 3 A.M. when I’d hear irregular breathing, lay a hand on his chest, and feel the pattern change to calmness.  That little current flowing between us as we held hands for our morning couple-prayers, even after the actual words came only through my lips.

Hugs of children, grand-children, and friends–hugs that brought healing tears and pushed away fears and anticipated loneliness.  And all their cheek-kisses, back caresses, adjusting wayward strands of our hair, finger massages, and quiet hand-holding for both of us and for each other.

During times of grave illness and death, loving people are frustrated because they really do want to do something to help.  So they say, “If there’s anything at all that I can do….”  What I want to say to many of them is that their simple touch brought us both so much comfort and encouragement.  To others I’d say that God gave us each a body so we can minister to each other through the grace of a simple human touch.

 

 

Protecting Parents

Imagine visiting your dad in a nursing home.  The woman in a nearby room is alone and unable to fend for herself.  Get past the sights and smells of the place and into what she might be feeling. Here’s one woman’s experience, in her own words:

PLEASE…I’M HERE…SOMEBODY….  I know you’re visiting your father in the next room, but I’ve called out a dozen times for a blanket.  You must have heard.  Please get someone for me.  Last week I was so thirsty, but nobody would answer my call button, and the woman visiting her friend in the other bed became irritated with me and closed the curtain between us. This morning I heard the laughing—again—one aide mimicking my slurred speech, the other calling out my daughter’s name like I do when I really get feeling down.  I’m old, but I’m not deaf or stupid.  I’ve been in this place for so many months, I’m less than a piece of furniture.  If you tell someone in charge and wait to be sure something is done, then I’d be so grateful.  No, it won’t get you in trouble, but, chances are, nobody will even think about treating your dad the way they’re treating me.  Please… somebody…please.

Then, take a minute to give her a smile or ask if she’d  like you to get someone to help her.  You may be the only bright spot in her week.  And watching out for other people’s parents shows honor and respect for our own.