Tag Archive for bully

A Bully-Pulpit Invitation

Here’s a bully-pulpit for you.  There’s so much in the news about kids being bullied and the damage it does to them not just at the time but throughout their lives.  We never forget those bad experiences when others teased and belittled us, made us feel inadequate, unloved, unwanted, a laughing-stock, emotionally drained, physically ill, terrorized, totally alone in the world.

Use this forum to share an experience you had in which a bully made you feel this way and how it affected your life. Put your story in Comments and I’ll pass it on in a future blog entry.

I’ll start.  I was in 7th grade, shy and plump and walking on crutches and leg braces.  When I’d walk by a certain group of boys, they’d talk in a foreign language, look at me, imitate the way I walked, make hand gestures pointing out my roundish figure.  They even waited until I walked by the stairwell and dropped spit on me from above.  I cried a lot.  I avoided that stairwell whenever possible.  I was afraid to tell anyone or ask others to walk with me.  I was miserable and alone.  Later, that was the language I chose to learn for my college language requirement, and it took several friends from that ethnic group to get me over my fear and, yes, loathing of that group.  As an adult, I still get a twinge of discomfort when I think of those junior-high days, but I’m tuned into bullying and ready to step in whenever I see it.

Now it’s your turn….Write your experience in “Comments.”

Were You Bullied?

Here’s a bully-pulpit for you.  There’s so much in the news about kids being bullied and the damage it does to them not just at the time but throughout their lives.  We never forget those bad experiences when others teased and belittled us, made us feel inadequate, unloved, unwanted, a laughing-stock, emotionally drained, physically ill, terrorized, totally alone in the world.

Use this forum to share an experience you had in which a bully made you feel this way and how it affected your life.

I’ll start.  I was in 7th grade, shy and plump and walking on crutches and leg braces.  When I’d walk by a certain group of boys, they’d talk in a foreign language, look at me, imitate the way I walked, make hand gestures pointing out my roundish figure.  They even waited until I walked by the stairwell and dropped spit on me from above.  I cried a lot.  I avoided that stairwell whenever possible.  I was afraid to tell anyone or ask others to walk with me.  I was miserable and alone.  Later, that was the language I chose to learn for my college language requirement, and it took several friends from that ethnic group to get me over my fear and, yes, loathing, of that group.  As an adult, I still get a twinge of discomfort when I think of those junior-high days, but I’m tuned into bullying and ready to step in whenever I see it.

Now it’s your turn….Write your experience here.

Child Health–a Good Day

It’s the First Monday in October, meaning it’s National Child Health Day.  It’s a day established in 1928 to promote our children’s physical health, but why not focus on their mental and emotional well-being, too? We can play a few active games with them, take a walk or bike ride together, or team up to clean up the garden. We can also spend some extra time with them, maybe having a little picnic in the backyard, doing some chores together and complementing them on their help, giving them a few extra hugs, talking to them, one-on-one, about friends, school, activities they’re involved in or a movie you saw together or an incident when you both saw someone acting as a bully. Yes, these are things we should be doing every day with our children. But this is a great day to redouble our efforts–for the good of our children.

A Birthday and a Warning

Thirty years ago today a British computer scientist submitted a proposal that formed the basis for today’s World Wide Web, making today the Web’s 3oth birthday. It’s a marvelous invention, but one that we must protect our children from. Consider these scenarios:

A kid you know is complaining about mean messages about him on Twitter, an embarrassing picture of him on Facebook, a humiliating profile that popped up on another site, a rumor about him sent out on all his friends’ email or texts.  All of these are examples of cyber bullying, and none of it is harmless fun that will just fade away.  In fact, kids who are victims of cyber bullying tend to have life changes: cut classes, use drugs and alcohol, do poorly in school, become unhealthy (physically and emotionally), and be victims of in-person bullying. 

All adults in a youngster’s life need to be vigilant to guard against this.  We must keep aware of what our kids are doing online, and that includes the Internet, social sites, emails, and texting.  We must talk with our kids about what goes on in cyber-space, set rules, and monitor adherence to those rules.   All schools have such rules, and we must make sure that we and our kids are familiar with them.  Yes, the kids will complain.  But—and here’s what’s important—they’ll be safe.

Workplace Bullying

I’ve been thinking a lot about how much bullying is going on.   Maybe it’s the political climate, or maybe it’s because it’s National Bullying Prevention month.  In any event, we see it on the playground, coming through cyberspace, even at our workplace.  It deeply hurts both children and adults.  Today I’d like to address those of you experiencing it at your work.

Does someone at work love to make people around him miserable?  If you feel that way, most likely you aren’t alone. The Workplace Bully never heard of, nor does he care about, the dignity all workers are entitled to.  Confront him, not with a solid punch to the jaw but with a calm request for him to be more reasonable.  Tell him plainly that he makes you feel uncomfortable or humiliated; explain why specific demands he makes on you are excessive.  If you do this in front of others, you minimize the chance of verbal warfare and, at the same time, embolden co-workers who have been suffering silently.  Join with them, in a sort of support group, one that doesn’t feed each other’s anger but keeps you from feeling isolated and helps you find ways to counteract the bully’s actions that don’t turn you into a bully.  Soon your lagging self-respect will return.  Together you’ll make your job site the fulfilling, safe environment you deserve to work in.

 

 

No Name-Calling?

We’re in the middle of “No Name-Calling Week”  (http://glsen.org/nonamecallingweek).  It’s an annual event carried on in schools, aimed at making life for students more livable and shutting up bullies, because there’s nothing they can think of saying.

This is a great idea.  How about if adults observe the week, too?  Imagine no name-calling at work or home, on the road or in bustling crowds, at sporting events or in the bars….

 

 

Bullies Provide a Service

Bullies are a good thing.  That’s what someone recently argued to me.  His reasoning was that he had taught his daughter to stand up to bullies, as should all parents, to get kids used to adult life in the workplace.  No matter where you work, he maintained, there will be bullies, and you need to be ready for them.  He thinks that schools shouldn’t be wasting their time punishing bullies or trying to stop them because school-aged bullies provide a service.

I thought this was an interesting take on the problem.  However, I can’t help but think that if young bullies are stopped now, they’ll never be a problem in the workplace once they grow up.  And more children will have a happier childhood.

What do you think?