After watching the news for some time, I realize the motivation for men who commit crimes: they need money to buy a razor.
Just look at their pictures. None is clean-shaven, and most have at least a 5:00 (and 6:00, and 8:00…) shadow.
So, I propose taking up a collection to buy a million (to start with) disposable razors to give out to men contemplating committing crimes. I figure that should cut our crime rate in half.
Are you with me?
