Being a semi-hermit during the pandemic drew me into watching a lot of TV movies, if for no other reason than hearing human voices. I learned quite a bit. I’ve narrowed it down to 10 observations. I’ll give you 5 today and the rest tomorrow.
- If it’s a Lifetime movie, it will probably a) start out with a frantic woman being chased through a forest or down a dark road and b) end with the bad guy’s death after the woman (untrained in self-defense) fights him off despite his knife or gun.
- Sex scenes take up 1/5 of the total screen time and are far less titillating than the kiss-and-grope, leading to fade-out, of old movies.
- Text messages will be too small and on camera too short a time for us to read them, and the background music drowns out much of the dialog.
- The convenience weapon of choice by murderers is the heavy-duty butcher knife in the kitchen block of knives most of us can’t afford.
- Most main characters live in huge, fancy houses, even if there’s only a couple or a single mom who we’re supposed to worry about because she can’t afford to send her kid to college. And most of those kids have been accepted to exclusive or ivy league schools.
[continued tomorrow]