This pandemic is forcing us to face death more than we normally do. Most of us know at least one person who has been taken by the virus, or by other means. As we think about how to deal with the loss of a friend or relative and try to comfort those left behind to mourn, we tend toward platitudes and inaction, because we’re so uncomfortable.
“Anything I can do…anything at all,” we say to the grieving friend, then leave it at that, telling ourselves we’ll be called if we’re really needed. A crucial time to care for our human family is when one of them has passed from this Earth. Those who are left behind are in too much pain to know what help to ask for, although there is an overwhelming list of tasks that need to be done. In a way, saying “call me if there’s anything I can do” puts an additional burden on the bereaved, because she may feel she should give you a task so you feel better.
What can you do? Mainly, be very specific in what you offer—to help make arrangements at the funeral home or, later on, to drop off the loved one’s belongings at the charity he supported. This conveys the message that you really do care, that you can be depended on for the help and friendship she needs whenever she needs it.