Small Things Count

“Anything I can do…anything at all,” we say to the grieving friend, then leave it at that, telling ourselves we’ll be called if we’re really needed.  A crucial time to care for people is when one of them has passed from this Earth.  Those who are left behind are in too much pain to know what help to ask for, although there is an overwhelming list of tasks that need to be done.  In a way, saying “call me if there’s anything I can do” puts an additional burden on the bereaved, because they may feel they should give you a task so you feel better.  What can you do?  Mainly, be very specific in what you offer—to help make arrangements at the funeral home, go with them to pick up the deceased’s ashes, or, later on, to drop off the loved one’s belongings at the charity they supported.   This conveys the message that you really do care, that you can be depended on for the help and friendship they need whenever they need it.