Small Things Count

Today I offer an Irish proverb for our Thursday Thought. It struck me because it reminded me that each of us is affected by all those who cross our path. It’s worth thinking about.

THE SIMPLEST WAY, OF COURSE, IS JUST TO AVOID THE TOPIC.  BUT this will become harder and harder as we brawl through the November elections. These tips from care2.com are worth remembering.

1. Be choosy: Pick your battles—the Golden Rule of interpersonal relationships—is especially valuable advice when discussing politics. If your husband is yelling at the television during a candidate’s speech, is that really affecting you? Probably not. So don’t bother starting an argument over it.

2. Seek shelter on common ground: Instead of focusing on how you and your conversational partner disagree, look for areas where your opinions harmonize. Begin a conversation by highlighting the values and goals you both share.

3. Don’t get personal: Because politics are based largely on personal values and beliefs, there is no such thing a “right” or “wrong” way of interpreting the issues. If you’re having trouble seeing things from your partner’s point of view, try asking yourself why a rational person would come to such a conclusion. You may still not agree with them—you don’t have to—but it’s important to admit that their perspective is valid.

4. Check your facts: Don’t waste time debating factual information you can just look up on the Internet. Before you engage in a lengthy debate over the exact amount of money that the President’s plan for reducing the deficit is allegedly supposed to save, make sure you both know what that number is.

5. Let a sleeping argument lie: Once a political discussion has reached a natural stopping point, make sure it doesn’t start back up again. Quell your desire to have the last word in an argument and stay way from the phrase, “I just have one more thing to say about…”

6. Learn how to apologize: So many people don’t know how (or refuse) to apologize after they’ve said something wrong. Here are three guidelines for effective apologies: embellish the wrong (“I made a really big mistake when…”), say why you’re sorry, and tell the person how you’re going to avoid making the same mistake in the future.

I was surprised to learn that the NFL hasn’t paid taxes since 1966, when “professional football leagues” were added to the IRS code as non-profit organizations.  That put them into the same category as tax-exempt charities, such as the Cancer Society, homeless shelters, and churches.  At the same time, they were granted an exemption in the anti-trust regulations, giving them a monopoly in terms of negotiating TV rights, thus saving them even more money. It makes me wonder why the items we buy–tickets, hot dogs, beer, team clothing, etc.—are astronomically high.  And why we put up with it.

Today is World Ocean Day. Our oceans give us beauty, fun, food, jobs, medicine, air, weather patterns, a place to think. In return, we give it pollution, beach erosion, and death to its inhabitants.  But with our normal daily activities we can reverse this destructive human trend:

1) Lessen pollution by conserving water and guarding against oil and antifreeze running into the ocean. (The ocean gets more oil from car leaks than from large tanker spills.)

2) Avoid litter–cigarette butts tossed onto the street end up in the ocean, killing sea-life.

3) Ask questions before buying seafood. Was it farmed, thus depending on wild fish as its food source?  Where was it farmed—inland, meaning that waste didn’t flow into the ocean?  If wild, was it caught in such a way that didn’t also catch turtles, dolphins, and other life that was simply discarded?   (For help, print a pocket guide from https://www.seafoodwatch.org/recommendations/download-consumer-guides

It’s not too late—yet—to start taking better care of our wonderful, watery friend.

Yesterday while I was coming back from my dog-walk I saw that, while I was gone, construction workers had torn up the sidewalk at the corner of my court. Since I couldn’t get my mobility scooter around it, I had to backtrack and go around garden-debris piles along a busy Santa Teresa Blvd. I asked the workers to keep an eye out for traffic for me. They went a step further. One drove a piece of equipment with warning lights out onto the blvd., made a U-turn, and drove slowly to block traffic behind my dog and me until we were safely on my court. They didn’t have to do that, but they did, because that’s the sort of small things good people do. Thanks, guys!

Exactly what my book, The Women in Me: How They Helped Me Survive and Thrive, is about. How could I resist using this for today’s Thursday Thought?. https://smthingscount.com/women-in-me/

I respect Gay/Disability/Italian Pride, etc. but feel it isn’t broad enough. I don’t think that an accident of birth or some other factor I had no control over is pride that I’ve earned.  Why should I be proud that I’m a woman, heterosexual, disabled, white, a victim of a crime in my childhood, or anything else I didn’t choose, earn, or accomplish? Yes, I admit to some pride when it comes to my learning to adapt to negative aspects of the above–and to some shame when I didn’t adapt in an honorable way.  I feel pride, though, for things that I worked for and accomplished, or ways I made a positive difference in this world: as a teacher, writer, mother, wife, friend, advocate, volunteer, and good example.

Everyone has something in life to overcome, be it homelessness, un/under employment, poverty, bad parenting, illness, lack of education, a disability (physical, intellectual, emotional, age-related), extreme shyness….  If I’m caught in poverty, I don’t feel Poverty Pride; if I’m able to help myself out of poverty, I’m entitled to feel pride of success.  Apply this to all situations.

In other words, it isn’t what we’re born into or what happens to us that earns us pride.  It’s how we handle life itself–and interact with those sharing this Earth–that lets us carry the ultimate sign: “Human Pride.”