Tag Archive for sex

Recommendation: Crip Camp

I don’t often recommend movies or documentaries, but I think this one is worth watching. Full disclosure: I grew up with a disability (post polio), and this documentary is about kids with disabilities.

I identify with some of the kids at the camp (10 years earlier I attended Easter Seal Camp) and at the protests (I participated in anti-Nam protests). But some of what the film presents was new to me — like us “Polios” being considered at the top of the disability ladder and “Cerebral Palsies” being at the bottom.

Whether or not you have a disabled child among your friends or family, this is a worthwhile film to watch. The kids aren’t “brave” or “admirable” or “inspiring” or any of the other terms people use that grate on our nerves. They’re just what we all are — people standing up for their rights.

(Warning: sex, smoking, and pot are involved.)

If you, like me, grew up with a disability, you should watch this, too. And, by the way, fellow “crips,” remember that our group is among the lowest in voter turn-out, and nobody else will push for our rights, so VOTE!

And watch “Crip Camp: A Disability Revolution” on NetFlix,

What’s in a Choice?

Today’s Thursday Thought speaks for itself.

Sex: Not Just the Catholic Church

This is NOT a defense of the sexual abuse by Catholic priests. We’re  very aware of their unconscionable crimes because priests are the ones getting most of the press. This is a warning that sexual abuse of children and adults and its cover-up is prevalent in many positions of authority. Here are only two.

Boy Scouts of America: This organization has 2.7 million kids and one million  volunteers. Before 1994, they had reports of approximately 2000 cases of abuse . Between 1992 and 2012, the courts ordered the BSA to release files that they were keeping secret. Only 1000 were revealed between 1965 and 1985. The courts now have 1800 out of 6000 files, with the others being kept secret by the BSA for “confidentiality” concerns.  Note that these numbers include only the boys who actually reported their abuse.

Police Officers: Here’s the list compiled by the Bowling Green State University–not including federal officers–of police officers arrested for sex crimes 2005 – 2013: 636 forcible fondling; 405 forcible rape; 219 forcible sodomy; 98 indecent exposure; 58 sexual assault with an object; 186 statutory rape. That totals 1,602 in eight years. Have these been covered up or simply dismissed within their ranks? We don’t know. All we know is that we haven’t heard of that many cases. And, again, the numbers reflects only the people who actually reported their abuse.

The point is, it’s not clergy (of any denomination) or youth leaders (BSA or any others) or police. It’s a society in which sexual crimes are far too abundant and too often covered up, leaving a trail of victims scarred for life. Plus a multitude of good people tarred with the same brush as the offenders in their job-categories.

It’s past time of blaming organizations and get down to fixing a society which is horrified by the abuse yet does little to change the attitudes and laws that keep these degrading, demeaning,  life-altering, emotional scars forming.

Women, Sex, and Photos

Someone please explain the facts of life to me. Whether it’s news or a Hollywood event, there’s a big difference in how men and women are photographed. The cameras will capture a male through a full-body shot and move forward to his upper body, often including his arm around a woman and a bright smile.  Photos of women are different, though. They  often start at the feet and move slowly up the body, capturing legs, butt, and boobs.

Maybe we’re just being shown the lovely/extravagant/outrageous dress the woman is wearing. But the men don’t always wear conservative business suits. Maybe it’s because the women strike model-poses that emphasize their figure. But the men strike manly poses and do manly things, like encircling their “arm candy.”  Could it be that the women enjoy the attention more than men?  Come on…we’re talking prominent people who earn a living based largely on their looks.

It’s time for camera-people to start at the men’s shoes and work slowly up, panning slowly past the crouch and up past the trim belly and tight butt and up to the $500 haircut.

No, I guess not, because that might be considered obscene.

 

In Defense of Sexual Predators

I hate to say it, but these guys being accused of sexual assault and misconduct MAY have a defense strategy, saying it was acceptable behavior “back then.”  I’m talking about accusations of events happening decades ago, not ones in the relatively recent past (but someone would have to define that). It definitely isn’t right or moral, but that could very well be set aside.

It happened to me—the butt pats, uncomfortable arm around me, “accidental” breast-brushing, off-color comments about my appearance.  But who could I complain to? Our male boss or his male boss? The men who observed and laughed about it? It wasn’t illegal, so the police would tell me it was just boys being boys, that they were showing their affection for and acceptance of me as a colleague, and I should be a good sport.  Problem is, the attitude I attribute to the police was, in general, society’s attitude at that time.

I’m not trivializing what any woman has gone through.  As I said, I’ve been there and know how it feels and the awkward, even professionally precarious position it puts a woman in.  But I foresee lawyers arguing their clients’ cases, with the spin they’ll likely put on it.  And the greater the number of older men who are accused, the easier the spin.

Let this be a warning to all “good old boys,” which, thankfully, are no longer the majority of men: times have changed, so be a good sport about it and change your ways.

 

Why Hate

The FBI just came out with a report on hate crimes in the U.S. in 2016.  They cited 6,121 cases during the year, BUT those were the ones that were reported and rose to the legal level of being criminal incidents.  How many more were there, I wonder. Far too many.

So why do people commit hate crimes to begin with? The FBI broke it down into three major categories: 57.5% were motivated by race, 21% by religion, and 17.7% by sexual orientation.

Are we so afraid of people of different races and religions and sexual orientations other than our own?  Are they, simply because of those differences, out to get us? Of course not. So why are we out to get them?

Something to think about.

Child Abuse, Racism, and Harvard

Harvard is taking back the acceptances of ten or more students after seeing their comments on Facebook.  They’re part of a racist chat group.  Their memes, images, and jokes make fun of the Holocaust, sexual assault (including the benefits of sexual abuse of children), and the death of children (e.g., hanging  a Mexican child).

Those involved think it’s great fun;  Harvard does not.  They want no association with these racists and have told them so.

Harvard has taken the high road, emphasizing standards and human decency.  Thank you, Harvard.

 

“Suffer Fools Gladly”

Enjoy the fun of the day, but, please, consider the person you’re pranking.  We’ve all been the butt of cruel April Fools jokes that have humiliated us, or watched jokes pulled on others that were obviously an expression of the jokester’s prejudices, using the day as an excuse.  These tricks not only feel bad but seem to give some legitimacy to cruelty and prejudices.

There are so many pranks that are harmless and so ingrained in our culture that few people are terribly embarrassed by them, like the Whoopie Cushion, switching the Push and Pull signs on a door, and putting hundreds of post-its all around someone’s office.

But something that is dangerous, will clearly mortify someone, makes a person look stupid, or is based on ethnics, gender, religion, or sexual orientation is not okay.  And that means no posting of the victim online, which makes it even worse.

So, go ahead and enjoy the day.  But be mindful of the person you’re pranking and how it will affect him or her.  Remember that your joke reflects who you are as a person.

By the way, the title of today’s posting is from St. Paul.  If you want to know the context and meaning, you can find it at 2 Corinthians, verse 11:19.

 

Human Trafficking Actions Too Narrow

It’s a good thing that, during the Super Bowl, 7 teenagers (under age 18) were rescued from prostitution and over a dozen pimps and 85 people soliciting sex were arrested.

However, human trafficking is a much larger problem.  Employees in stores, restaurants, and nail salons are treated as virtual slaves.  So are domestic workers, farm workers, and hotel/motel staff.  They are men and women, adults and children, foreign-born and, yes, even U.S. citizens.

For details and statistics, including the number of cases reported in your state, go to https://traffickingresourcecenter.org/states.

I was pleased to see that sex traffickers were targeted during the Super Bowl.  I want to know, though, why nothing was done to protect and rescue all those others.

 

 

Children in Adult Prisons

Kids in adult prisons?  Yes, in 2013 there were 6,000+ in the U.S.  These kids have few appropriate services or support as they experience sexual assault, beatings, and psychological torture.  They are more likely to try suicide than kids detained in non-adult prisons, and once they get out are 77% more likely to commit crimes.  This does NOT sound like a way to rehabilitate them–and they’re at the age when they are very able to change.  Nor is it a way to get them ready for a productive adult life on the outside.

Read more at the Credo website.  While you’re there, sign their petition to Attorney General Loretta Lynch, which simply reads, “The Department of Justice must immediately launch an investigation into the practice of trying and jailing children as adults.”