Studies have been done on the effects that comments have on people. It’s obvious that negative comments are hurtful. We all know the gut-feeling when someone says something that cuts us down, lumps us into an unpopular category, refers to our loved one in an unkind way, makes our work seem meaningless, or otherwise shows contempt toward us and disrespect for us as a person. Those studies indicate that a single negative comment takes five positive ones to counteract. Herein lie two lessons: 1) We should try to avoid those soul-tearing words, yet notice when we slip and say them…it happens to all of us. 2) We should practice saying five positive things daily to each person we live with or have frequent contact with. In this way, we work toward showing more respect for other members of our human family. And our emphasizing the positive makes us a happier, less stressed-out person.
Tag Archive for comment
How I Edit Your Comments
Yes, your comments do come to me for approval, mainly so that I can delete spam and inappropriate material (we’re G-Rated). Any I approve, though, I edit in one respect: I delete your email and website addresses. That’s for the privacy of those of you who don’t want to receive spam just because you commented on my blog. It’s also so I don’t unwittingly pass on any questionable websites.
So, feel free to comment and know that I’m protecting your privacy (and some of your sanity).
I’m Safe but Lonesome
Thanks to the reader who suggested I check to see if my spam filter was still working. Duh! All my education and I just trusted it. For some reason, it had stopped working. I reactivated it and put another one on, to boot. Haven’t had a single message since. Not yesterday or all day today. I’m getting lonesome. I know I asked you to hold off on comments until I got this straightened out. But, now, PLEASE look through some of my old posts and send me a comment on one of them. Please! I….feel….so….alone……
Compassion in Social Media
People are frustrated by virus restrictions and political warfare. We’re so tied up in knots that some things that we’d normally take in stride become a major offense against us. Like someone not picking up after their dog or giving a handout to a homeless person or having an opinion contrary to our own. So we express it on social media. And the tirades against us for what we’ve said pour into our “comments” section. Which adds to our feelings of unfairness and being personally attacked. In the process, we’ve missed an opportunity to build up the human family, failed to protect its members. Instead, we can try to understand what the poster is feeling, especially since we’re feeling just as frustrated and powerless. We can respond not with attacks but with “I’m sorry this is happening to you” or “I disagree but understand your position.” These are difficult times, times when our responses need to be compassionate and empathetic, not angry, vicious, and dismissive.