Tag Archive for behavior

Emotional Blackmail

“If you were my friend, you’d….”

“How would you like it if I told your parents/spouse/children/friends/boss that….”

“What about the time I did _____ for you?”

Anyone who says things like this to you is emotionally blackmailing you. So is gaslighting. And it isn’t always done with malicious intent.  Sometimes the person feels justified doing it. Even so, it’s abusive, and you shouldn’t put up with it. You need to confront it through communication.

If you think you or a loved one is being emotionally blackmailed, read this short but informative article, How to Spot the Toxic Behavior.

Pets & Your Health

If you don’t own a pet, maybe you should get one. A pet offers a whole bunch of health benefits to you:

  • Buffer stress
  • Lower heart rate
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Give social support
  • Help you stay in shape
  • Prevent certain sicknesses

And to your children:

  • Cognitive stimulation
  • Improved behavior in children
  • Heightened understanding of others
  • Increased immunity
  • Lower anxiety levels

You can read why pet ownership gives you these benefits by reading this Ohio State University Veterinary Medical Center’s short article Health Benefits of Pet Ownership.

By the way, Feb. 20 is National Love Your Pet Day. So, love your pet…or get one.

Fight that “Get Even” Thought

Want to strike back at that person who has been mean, cruel, or nasty to you? It’s a very human inclination. Today’s Thursday Thought quote explains why it can backfire.

 

https://www.facebook.com/RelationshipRules/videos/2371953146210871/

Child Predator Grooming

Because we never know for sure who’s a sexual predator, it’s important that we know the signs of when one is “grooming” a child. Parents, grandparents, guardians, teachers, parishioners, neighbors–any of us adults who have children we care for and want to look out for…we all need to know the signs so we can keep our children safe.

Here’s a list of the basic steps a predator takes in the grooming process.  For an explanation of each, read the single-page fact sheet Behaviors of Sexual Predators: Grooming.

  • Targeting the victim.
  • Gaining the child’s trust.
  • Filling a need.
  • Isolating the child.
  • Sexualizing the interaction.
  • Maintaining control.

Six steps. That’s all it takes to ensnare a child.

One step–our intervention–is all it takes to save a child.

Suspend that Kid!

If a kid breaks a school rule, suspend him!  This is a bit of wisdom I’ve never quite understood, especially when I was teaching.

Let me get this straight.  We believe that an education is the primary vehicle for success and that all kids should have access to it.  In fact, studies show that education is the most sure way to lift a child out of poverty in his adulthood and make it more likely that his children will not have to grow up in poverty.  We also know that kids who have pressures on them like poverty are the most likely to act out and earn detention.

Once off detention, a kid faces school staff who have labeled him a “troublemaker,” and he has work he must make up, taking time from already overburdened teachers.  Some teachers or schools have policies that say that a kid may NOT make up any tests, homework, or other schoolwork missed while on suspension, which leaves a gap in skill/concept mastery that interferes with later mastery which is built on what he missed.  His detention, then, has put him behind.

Sure, he might “learn his lesson” and not re-offend…maybe.  But how many kids with behavior problems realize what they have missed and its importance?

Tell me again how suspension from school benefits a kid or the society he will live in as an adult?

 

 

Jane Goodall Looks at Humans

You might think that a British anthropologist who studies animal behavior has her mind somewhere else but in the human world.  Not true of Jane Goodall, who is also U.N.  Messenger of Peace.  Her experiences and studies have led her to the conclusion offered in today’s Thursday Thought:

“WE HAVE SO FAR TO GO TO REALIZE OUR HUMAN POTENTIAL FOR COMPASSION, ALTRUISM, AND LOVE.”  — FROM HARVEST FOR HOPE: A GUIDE TO MINDFUL EATING